A bout of depression hit me hard and I can’t really feel feelings. I have no want or desire for anything. I only ate lunch because I forced myself to. I’m only writing this because I tell myself writing is good for me.
I don’t usually get depressed; my problem is mostly with anxiety, guilt, and panic. In recent years my anxiety symptoms began to mesh with depression symptoms (but my anxiety medication is antidepressants so I’m not really surprised by this overlap). It’s a jarring change to go from constantly thinking and planning to not wanting to engage in anything.
I can feel my mind struggling with the depression like it’s trying to Houdini its way out of a water chamber in a straitjacket. But a part of me is thinking when I get out of this water chamber, what will I do then? I don’t even want to do anything.
Luckily for me this doesn’t last very long. I will figure it out when I’m alive and breathing once more.