I told myself I would be doing these and I AM DOING THESE! I wanted to make them a once-a-month thing but I forgot to do it for a while, so here are some self-proclaimed Nikita Excellence™ and various ways I’ve been showing myself kindness.
- Cleaning my space. My head has been feeling cluttered and unclear so I took a couple of days to really clean and organize my space so I can feel like a grown woman in charge of my own life. I played “The Desired Effect” by Brandon Flowers on vinyl twice. It’s so happy and 80s-sounding and makes me feel like dancing and making my life better. I realize I put this on my last SSL post but at least you know I clean my room once a month.
- Forgiving myself for being imperfect in an imperfect body. You may have seen my previous post My Internal Monologue of Weight Gain (and Loss) that I’ve been fluctuating in my weight because FEELINGS. My body image and sense of comfort in my body has suffered but I’ve made the decision to let myself feel the feelings and cope with feelings. I shouldn’t beat myself up over something to temporary.
- I started using my agenda again to get shit done. I also bought a Passion Planner to REALLY get shit done.
- Attending Queen’s 2016 Homecoming! It has been 5 years since I graduated and I have a lot of feelings about Queen’s University, my growth, and the people I’ve crossed paths with. It was really great going back! (Longer post about this pending.)
- I listened to the Hamilton soundtrack and it has healed me.
- I made an active real effort to read more. I haven’t finished a book yet because I haven’t fallen into any that I love, but it feels sooooo nice to curl up in a blanket and read something for a few hours. I began Daughters Who Walk This Path by Yejide Kilanko and I’ve been sitting halfway through Harry Potter and the Cursed Child for a while now. Mostly it’s been listening to M is for Magic by Neil Gaiman on audiobook as I drift off to sleep.
Anna over at NerdyAlerty began this lovely series on her blog and encouraged others to participate. Sunday Self-Love is about acknowledging the things you love about yourself; the things you have done to be good to yourself, and the things you are proud of accomplishing. Her series will be monthly, but I’m not sure if I will follow the same schedule.
I have therapy sessions every two weeks to help manage my anxiety (which has become more troublesome since moving back in with my dad), and she would like to see me being kinder to myself. Most of my thoughts are self-deprecating and very focused on what I didn’t do well/enough. When I make a mistake I immediately beat myself up over it. I’m bad at taking a step back to forgive myself and allow myself to be a flawed human. I like the idea of taking the time to acknowledge my strengths; my accomplishments; my attempts to be good to myself.
These posts won’t always contain extravagant things. As I said I’m not good at taking care of myself, so there may not always be spa nights or workouts. I’m trying to pull myself out of a rut and I can’t think of anything substantial that I’ve done for myself lately, but here goes nothing:
- I did my makeup on Friday. Putting on makeup always feels like I’m taking care of myself, and it gives me something creative to do with brushes and colours. I had gone bare-faced for a long time and it was nice to look like I was ready to socialize, even if I wasn’t. I even put my hair in a little braid!
- I cleaned my room. It took two days because I drag my feet and didn’t do a very productive job of it (it’s still not at 100%), but de-cluttering my space helped me de-clutter my mind.
- I stopped eating so shittily. I flip-flop between a healthy lifestyle and a total slobfest. I’m currently sort of a slobfest. I haven’t worked out in over a month even though I said this week would be the week I get back to it, but beginning to eat healthy is a good way for me to ease myself back into treating my body well.
- I started blogging again! I got the email that my domain renewal was coming up and I thought “shit, if I’m paying for this I should use it.” I work part time and need productive hobbies for my time off.
- I had coffee with a friend from high school. We haven’t talked in a long time but we live close by so we thought it’d be nice to reconnect. We talked a lot about jobs, relationships, life, etc. It was super refreshing and really nice to socialize and have a #PSL.